Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
