I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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