this beer tastes like vomit already
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
