I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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