I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize