Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
