U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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