I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
