He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
