Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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