Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I've blown a few things in my day
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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