i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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