He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
