I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
