She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
