This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
