I wish I could punch you in the face.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
