Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
