eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
