Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
