I'm so fucking centered right now
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
