Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
