you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
