yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
