do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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