let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do herpes really smell.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
