Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
