You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
