wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize