never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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