Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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