We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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