I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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