i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize