O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
