Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize