Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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