You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize