im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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