Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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