I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize