Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
