somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
