do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
