this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize