Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
