4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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