Already got asked if we're dating
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
