yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
