OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
