So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
