so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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