Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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