she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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