How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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