The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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