There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
