you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
