Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
