I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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